


boy.

by DEANfferentRNB



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-09 13:42:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12889107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DEANfferentRNB/pseuds/DEANfferentRNB
Summary: "Changbin had only known him for a few months and yet he felt as if he had been with him for his whole life."In which Changbin's whole life is turned around by a young boy with beautiful blonde hair.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ This is my first time posting here as well as my first attempt at writing a long fic. The formatting and plot might be a big weird so comment if you don't understand anything

Chapter 1

"Have you heard about the new boy?"

Changbin looked up from his lyrics, his face visibly disinterested. There always seemed to be a transfer, but they hadn't had one in a few months. There was no point really– not when they had a year and a bit left of school. It would be social suicide to consider joining this late and most of the ones who did left within a month.

Nevertheless, everybody seemed to be in a buzz about it. Their school was relatively smaller than most and so rumours spread extremely quickly. Changbin was trying his best not to get absorbed into the gossip, but unfortunately he was close friends with Jisung and Hyunjin both of which were social butterflies and so he found it extremely difficult.

That and the fact that Jisung refused to help him with his lyrics until he spilled all his information.

"I heard he's a chaebol. I mean he must be if he can fly all the way from Australia."

Ah of course he was a rich kid. Who else in their right mind would willingly want to come to a school like this? The poor kid's parents must have seen the reviews online and posted the application straight away. If he really flew all the way from Australia, it would increase his longevity in the school to 6 months instead of a few weeks, a year at tops.

Changbin had nothing against rich people. He wasn't extremely rich but he was above the average wealth. No, in fact he felt sorry for the kid because in this school, they were hated with a passion. Most of the chaebols who arrived had attitude problems and superiority complexes. Students were already stressed, nobody needed a snobby, stuck up bitch to whine in their ear during lessons. After being put in their place (or not depending on how annoying they were) they left.

In normal terms it would have been bullying, but in reality it was never severe. Just a few snarky comments at most and they would shut up, some would even do complete changes in their behaviours. 

"Changbin?"

Hyunjin flicked an eraser at him like the idiot that he was while Jisung quietly suppressed his snickers. He moved the object away before sending a death glare at the pair. There was 5 minutes before the lesson started and he wasn't bothered to retaliate deciding to pack away his notebook where be wrote all his lyrics from instead.

***

"He's late."

Chan's eyes were glued onto the screen seemingly unbothered by his friend's statement. Changbin didn't know if it was due to his experience, his tiredness or him knowing the new boy well. Sensing eyes on him, he briefly glanced up.

"Don't worry." His eyes looked back down.

"He's fine."

"I wasn't worried."

It was true. He wasn't particularly worried, just curious. Normally, the latest a new kid would come to school was during the end of 1st period.

It was 3rd.

Changbin tried to ignore the nauseating feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He didn't understand why he was so preoccupied with someone he had never had a proper conversation with. He guessed that it was comparable to a crush on a celebrity– time consuming and stressful.

Chan sighed. His fingertips brushed against the keys of the piano tentatively, as if he was afraid of provoking it and unleashing its anger.

"Yes, you are."

Changbin quickly opened his mouth to retaliate but no sound seemed to come out. He snapped his mouth shut as his ears tinged red in embarrassment. Chan sighed again.

"I've known you for 7 years. I think I know you well enough to tell if you're worried enough. Now shut up and play piano." 

Changbin mentally cursed. Chan was like an older brother to him. Fun to hang out with, easy to joke around with but when it meant business it meant messing about slightly less. He was about to correct him on his last sentence but Chan beat him to it.

"You were speaking in your head."

Changbin smiled. Maybe he should stop worrying about a boy he had never met. It wasn't as if it was his responsibility to care about his wellbeing.

***

He hadn't expected to find him there. 

He knew straight away it was him by the way he was dressed: his blonde hair glistened as it gently shook in the summer breeze and his bulky clothes clung to his skin. He probably thought Korea's weather was timidly warm in comparison to Australia. 

Changbin shakily exhaled. His fingers tingled as he walked up to the hooded figure. He seemed to be shivering presumably from the cold. He gnawed at his cheek in thought; he had no plan to approach him and honestly he felt like a stalker with how silently he was walking. His head drowned in negative outcomes as he swiftly backed away.

Then, the boy turned around.

***

"Why are you blushing?"

Changbin buried his head underneath his books. If the ground opened and swallowed him up it would be less painful than Jisung poking his side curiously.

It was after lunch and the young boy had come to a devastating conclusion.

The new boy was beautiful.

Really fucking beautiful.

He didn't believe in love at first sight and he wasn't planning on developing a crush on him anytime soon, but Changbin couldn't get those perfect features out of his mind.

He couldn't forget the way his lips curled upwards as he fixed his messy blonde hair. He couldn't forget the way his eyes seemed golden as they glistened in the sunlight and the way pink tinged his cheeks as he opened his mouth to speak with his goddamn husky, beautiful voice and–

For fucks sake.

It wasn't as if he hadn't seen any pretty boys before– he was best friends with 3 of them for Christ's sake– but none of them had ever effected him like this. To say he was confused was an understatement. In fact, he felt more humiliated and desperately wanted to erase the event from his mind.

He gulped down water in an effort to calm himself down. 'It's fine' he thought, trying his best to avoid eye contact with Jisung, 'I'll get over it'. He slowly retrieved his history assignment from his bag, straightened out the crevices in the paper.

'Besides if he's pretty on the outside, he can't be pretty on the inside. It just wouldn't be fair.'


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An invisible cloud of awe and surprise hung over the classroom. His voice was beautiful. It was deep and husky, but not in a way that was grating to the ears. He had an accent, probably from not having lived in Korea for long, but it was subtle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo. I think I'll be updating this fic every Thursday. This is essentially a filler chapter to hint at things later on in the fic. As always, please give feedback; I wrote this in a day and it hasn't been properly proof read TT.

Unsurprisingly, life wasn't fair.

Changbin didn't know what god he had pissed off for him to be stuck with a boy who was not only attractive in appearance, but also in personality.

He had only heard about him from Chan but from what he had gathered, he was extremely sweet. It made Changbin's heart melt just thinking about it.

It went against the basic guidelines of life; you could either have good characteristics or good features. It wasn't fair to people like Changbin, who had practically nothing noteworthy about himself.

The new boy lingered outside in the corridor as he waited for his classmates to file in. It was Tuesday and he was a day late, so Changbin found it understandable that he was shuffling his feet against the scratched up floorboards.

He readjusted his sleeves carefully, as if he was afraid of ripping the soft, smooth fabric. Then he paused. It was only for about 5 seconds, barely noticable, but the student's sudden stillness was eerily similar to one of a robot; it was almost as if he was calculating the exact formula to make a good impression.

Finally, he stepped into the classroom. By this time, the whole class was hyper alert, meticulously analysing his every move. The teacher droned on about the lesson plan, which although was important, seemed trivial next to the glowing presence next to her. 

She stopped speaking after a few minutes and handed over to the boy. He smiled confidently as he sauntered to the centre of the room. It was a complete 180 compared to the anxious little boy from before and it slightly freaked him out. Involuntarily, Changbin leaned forward in his seat.

"Hi."

An invisible cloud of awe and surprise hung over the classroom. His voice was beautiful. It was deep and husky, but not in a way that was grating to the ears. He had an accent, probably from not having lived in Korea for long, but it was subtle.

The boy's eyes scanned the room, locking everyone in place with his gaze. His eyes met with Changbin's for a few seconds before he slowly looked away. Changbin's heart rose to his throat as his breath hitched.

"I'm Felix."

***

Changbin, having met the boy a day prior to everyone else, had noticed his good looks before the rest of the students had, so he wasn't surprised when a large group of them gathered together and formed a crowd around him at break time.

That being said, he did find it a bit excessive. He wouldn't deny he had questions to ask him and he certainly wouldn't deny that he was striking, but he still felt it didn't justify suffocating the poor boy on his first day.

Changbin noticed that he didn't react negatively towards the overwhelming amount of attention, instead he smiled at everyone, seemingly willing to cooperate with answering their questions. He was either extremely self assured or used to it– Changbin didn't know which one was worse.

"Where are you from?"

"I'm Australian." He smiled, combing his hand though his hair.

Ah. That would explain the slight treble in his voice every time he spoke. While he hadn't verbally stated how much Korean he understood, it was obviously clear that he wasn't fluent. When the teacher had asked him to read a passage in class, he stumbled over a few words as he tried to figure out their pronunciation.

It was cute.

Nevertheless, he had still written down some sentences from the book they were reading from; now that he knew he spoke English he would have to translate them or give them to Chan so he could give them to Felix. Or maybe he should give it to him himself–

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Changbin snapped out of his thoughts to watch his reaction. Surprisingly, he was still smiling, albeit a little shyly as a crimson hue graced his cheeks.

"No. Not right now." His voice was quiet, like he was worried he would upset someone with his revelation.

He contemplated about going to get Chan, but he was already walking towards the group. His trainers slapped against the concrete, making a horrible screeching sound that put Changbin on edge. 

The older boy wriggled his way through the herd, his face contorted into a scowl as he attempted to level out his breathing. He didn't acknowledge his friend, instead he darted towards the blonde haired boy and dragged him away.

He would have to ask his question later.

***

The doors burst open as students rushed in the canteen, trampling on each other's feet in an effort to secure their place in the line. Being a high end high school, their food was slightly less than gourmet. 

Changbin pulled on his headphones, trying to drown out the sound. The school had a strict no eating anywhere else but the canteen or cafe areas but Changbin still managed to sneak outside to the garden area. It was out of bounds and boarded as it was being rejuvenated, yet he had still discovered a small opening in one of the fences that he could slip through. Coincidentally, it was were he had first found Felix.

Besides the garden, he could also eat in one of many music rooms depending on if his favourite teacher was in. He had all these options, and yet his friends had decided that in their last two years of school, they wanted to be normal. It was an impossible dream, but for the last year and a bit, Changbin entertained it, blaming their bizarre choices on the identity crisis that they were apparently going through.

Hyunjin was sniffing the air like the idiot he was and Jisung was nervously glancing around. His palms were sweating and he hadn't bought any food which was unusual behaviour for the boy. 

Hyunjin was in the middle of a rant before the other boy abruptly stood up and ran out of the hall. Changbin turned to his friend for an explanation, but he seemed unfazed by Jisung's outburst.

Then, from the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar mop of glimmering, blonde hair. Attached to it was a large pair of headphones which belonged to Chan.

Ah. Jisung was running from Chan.

As much as he loved Jisung, he didn't exactly want to cover for his incompetence. It was obvious that he had done something wrong, and it was probably something trivial so when Chan stormed up to the table, he merely pointed at the door.

That and the fact that as calm as Chan was, when he was angry he was not a force to be reckoned with.

Hyunjin sighed before acknowledging the guest with a small nod of his head. He beckoned for him to sit down and he sluggishly slumped forward in his chair, his scrutinising gaze meeting Felix's confident one. Hyunjin seemed to notice something Changbin didn't, a mischievous smile similar to one of a cheshire cat forming on his face.

"Hello Felix," he purred. 

Said boy straightened up and responded to him with a slight smirk on his face. They stared at each other for a few moments before Hyunjin stood up.

"I'm gonna go find Chan." He picked up his desert as he started walking off.

"Bye Felix," he mummered, "I have a feeling that we're going to get on very well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it gets more interesting TT. As always, my tumblr for stray kids is: felixislit. Drop a message or a request for a drabble and my awkward self will try and answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop, it's finally here! I don't know if I'll be keeping to my schedule since I didn't finish this chapter in time. Comments and feedback are appreciated. :)  
> Also I made a stray kids twitter if anyone wants it: @Felixislit. I might post drabbles on their or take requests.

Hyunjin was right when he said that he and Felix would get along well. They were both idiots who had a tendency to break out into spontaneous bursts of dancing whenever something 'lit' as Felix would say happened.

Changbin had guessed that Felix wasn't quiet, but he didn't know he was this loud. His screaming seemed to intensify whenever he was near Hyunjin or Jisung-- anyone really, he just seemed to be hyperactive. He had even made friends with Bambam even though he was a year older and only knew him because of Chan.

He lightly tugged on his hair as he scribbled down incoherent words on the scrunched up paper. Changbin was excessively careful with his lyric sheets and made an effort to ensure that they were free from ink sploches, but when Hyunjin kept flailing his arms about in loud hearty laughter, he found it difficult to protect them. 

He sighed and gently placed down his pen, defeated. He could do it another time, maybe in the practice rooms after school, or he could go to the library and write. Besides, lately Changbin's mind kept coming to a blank everytime he put pen on paper; he had guessed his mind was all fried up with the amount of tests and coursework they were getting. Whatever the reason, he figured he should preserve what little inspiration he had left, in case Chan asked him to do an impromptu rap session. 

Changbin spun round in his chair, his legs dangling in the air as he looked at the scene in front of him. Felix was chatting away animatedly, his hands waving around as he excitedly reancted a scene. It was cute, but Changbin would never admit it, especially not with Hyunjin around. He wasn't in the mood to hear his friend's teasing, especially when the subject of said teasing was right in front of him. 

The brown haired boy bobbed his head up and down in ageement with whatever nonsensical story Felix was telling. Then, as if sensing an unwanted presence, he stared at Changbin, his dark brown eyes burning with mischeif and expectation. He inched closer to him, his expression similar to a predator stalking his prey as he latched onto his arm in a fake display of love.

The problem was, Hyunjin and Changbin were close friends, no matter how many times they jokingly (or maybe seriously) denied it, and so even though Changbin occasionally put on an expression of indifference towards his friend's skinship, he had grown accustomed to it. Felix was still talking, his hair falling into his eyes, seemingly oblivious to the murder that was taking place next to him. 

When he finally looked at them, his face was blank, completely devoid of any emotion, and although Changbin didn't know what reaction he was expecting (it was just a side hug after all) he knew it was definitely not this. He smiled, but it seemed forced, like he couldn't accept the situation before him. Changbin frowned. He wasn't excactly familiar with the politics in Australia but if it was anything like the ones in Korea, it wouldn't be very accepting of homosexuality. Not that they were going out, Hyunjin liked Seungmin (and it was pretty obvious that Seungmin liked him back, he just stubbornly wouldn't admit it) and Changbin was open-- he just hadn't fallen in love yet.

Felix gnawed on his finger and shuffled nervously in his seat. He wasn't normally like this, he almost never had the deer caught in headlight look and it scared him. The few times he had, Chan seemed to swerve the conversation towards something more comfortable. But Chan wasn't here. It was just him, Hyunjin and Felix, who appeared to be getting more anxious by the second.

It had only been about 30 seconds but it felt like hours. It wasn't even as if Felix had thrown a tantrum-- he was literally just sitting down across them but the atmosphere was growing more and more tense until Changbin couldn't bear it anymore. 

Changbin shook off Hyunjin from his arm, massaging it as he tried to get some feeling back into it. Damn Hyunjin and his dance lessons, he was getting a little stronger everytime he saw him. Just when his blood began circulating again, his friend sneakily wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned on his shoulder.

The blond boy's smile grew even wider, becoming more and more pained at every movement. He didn't understand what he was doing wrong to hurt the boy. He also didn't understand why it had to be him of all people to get this sort of reaction; everyone else endulged in playful touches-- heck the blondie even did it himself but for some reason he shrivelled up whenever it came to him. 

"Are you guys..."

Changbin waited for his response, eager to decode the young boy's thoughts. He knew he should have just started a new conversation when a few seconds passed and he hadn't finished his question, but he couldn't find it in him to quench the curiousity that was burning away his insides.

It wasn't as if Changbin was completely stupid. He had an idea of what he was trying to insinuate, but he wanted Felix to saw it with his own mouth. He needed him to.

Hyunjin was still chatting away, choosing to ignore the tension that was surrounding him. His conversation turned to talk of the upcoming English test and how he was 'definitely going to fail' even though he was quite proficient in the language. Felix shook his head, his eyes darting around as he continued the conversation.

"Nah, you're probably gonna ace it."

Ah. So he wasn't going to ask the question. Changbin mentally sighed as he started teasing Hyunjin about his English skills. No matter how many times he laughed, he couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in his chest.

 

...

When Changbin and Felix had compared timetables, he had noticed the blondie had no creative subjects on his rota. It made sense; his school heavily focused on technology and science so almost everyone had one of those subjects, but Felix didn't seem like the type of guy who could come to school and look at numbers the whole day. He could barely sit still in English, the subject he should be most comfortable in.

"Why don't you take any of the arts?"

The question had tumbled out of his mouth before his brain had registered that he had said it. He clamped his hands over his mouth as if it would erase the fact that he had asked something so evasive. 

Chan had stepped out to get an amp so he, once again, wasn't here to help Changbin get out of the situation. Felix readjusted in his seat so he was sitting upright, his chesnut brown eyes staring straight into his. A shiver ran down his spine as he contemplated about looking away; he couldn't, there was something in his gaze that held the older in place.

"I want to," he said carefully. They were still holding eye contact. 

Changbin had figured as much. He was always lurking around the performing arts sector of their school. Students were allowed to use the suites even if they weren't taking the subject; Felix must have known that, he had come to the music rooms with Chan a couple of times and they were currently inside one of them. But everytime he had seen him in front of the dance practice room, his feet had been glued to the the floor in front of the door, like he was waiting for someone to allow him to enter.

"But I can't."

Changbin nodded but he was still confused. Felix had a way of answering questions that revealed everything and nothing at the same time. It was like he was paddling instead of submerging his whole body inside the water to swim. He chewed at the inside of his cheek, trying his best not to make the situation awkward.

"Why not?" 

Felix raised his eyebrow. Changbin knew he was digging his own grave, and he would gladly jump inside of it wasn't for the itch in his bones, the same one from before, to find out more about the mysterious freckled boy sitting opposite of him. 

"The same reason alot of us don't do things." His eyes glanced towards the sound of soft footsteps. Chan. Changbin swallowed roughly, anticipating his next words. His hands pressed against the keys of the piano, their notes clashing harshly in his ears. He turned it off so he wouldn't miss a single word of what he would say, if he even said anything.

"Fear."

The door swung open, and a grinning Chan walked in with a small, shiny box. Felix looked towards Chan with a bright smile, a sudden contrast to the eerie mood he had unknowingly created. Changbin's mind quickly filled with dark thoughts of helplessness and failure as he pressed harder on the keys.

"Ready to make some music?" Chan gleamed.

He nodded.

...

Today had been an eventful day and Changbin was exhausted from the amount of work (and messing around) he had done. The three of them had worked on a track together, Felix's beautiful vocals making him choke on his saliva. Chan laughed until tears streamed down his face, the younger one of the trio opting to blush instead.

"Was it that good?" he had asked shinning with happiness.

"Yes."

Then of course Chan had decided to spoil the mood with his stupid teasing about how the 'emo' boy was actually a secret cutie. At first he had been pissed-- how dare he call him cute when he could easily floor him in a sparring match but then Felix had laughed and it was cute so he stopped arguing to listen to it.

But right now, his mind was drowning in anxiety. Felix's words had hit him hard because it was too close to home. He didn't think he had anything to be scared about, but on nights like this when his insomnia kicked in, he seemed to have plenty of reasons to be worried.

His phone buzzed on his table. He rolled over and reached for it before placing it down again. It was Hyunjin, of course, who was staying at Jisung's place to finish of some work that they had left two days before the deadline. 

A few small knocks echoed through the room. Changbin groaned, slightly angry that someone had interrupted the 4 hours of sleep he would be getting before he had to wake up. He clambered out of bed and slipped on his slippers, shuffling his way towards the door.

"Why--"

Changbin swallowed all the insults he had prepared for the intruder. It was Felix. 

He was dressed in a bright yellow top that was way too big for him (probably Chan's) and dark grey sweatpants. His hair was messy and splayed all over the place while his head was bobbing up and down in an effort to stay awake.

Changbin swallowed again.

Felix stepped into his room before falling onto Hyunjin's bed. Ah. Changbin had assumed that his friend would be staying over at Jisung's house but it would be awkward if he came home to the blondie in his bed. It would also be awkward if he came home to the blondie in Changbin's bed, which probably wasn't going to happen since they had only known each other for a few days. 

Changbin decided to let Felix stay in Hyunjin's bed because one, Felix was taller than him and would be difficult to move him and two, he looked so comfortable lying there. 

"Chan went out. He said I could-- what's the word stay? Is that how you say it in Korean?"

He rolled over onto his side, waiting expectantly for approval.

"Yes."

"Ah okay. Anyway, he said I could stay here if I couldn't sleep."

A few moments went past. Changbin assumed Felix had already fallen asleep; he could hear gentle snores pouring out of his mouth. He laid his head back in the pillow, his hands folded as he looked towards his alarm clock. 

3 and a half hours left.

He sighed as he thought about getting his sleeping tablets from Chan, then he realised that Felix had said he had gone out. He was probably only at Jisung's room which was about 10 minutes away, but it was too late to get them. If he took them now, he would be half asleep during his classes, something that was never a good thing.

"Changbin?"

He let his name ring into the air, before replying with a small grunt.

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

He nodded in agreement.

Felix dragged himself over and timidly wrapped his sweater paws around Changbin's waist. His breathing hitched as he desperately tried to ignore the rising heat in his cheeks.

Changbin didn't question it-- no, rather he didn't want to question it. Not right now anyway. He was used to rough nights spent awake, counting cracks on the ceilings but now here he was, counting freckles and mapping out constellations on the cheeks of a boy he barely knew, yet Changbin felt more at home, more at rest than he had in weeks.

He would question it tommorow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this fic is gonna be a slow burn at the rate the pacing is going. Please tell me if you find any mistakes or if you don't understand anything. :)


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bubble-gum?”
> 
> Felix dropped the menu, puzzled as to why his friend had suddenly lost the ability to speak in full sentences.
> 
> “With all the flavours in the world you chose bubble-gum? Felix, you could literally buy a pack of gum from next door for like, 2000 won.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop! I finally posted another chapter. It's a bit shorter than normal, (procrastination at it's finest) but nevertheless, I hope you still enjoy. It's fluffy in order to make up for abandoning my schedule. Also, I feel like it kept switching tenses so please point out any mistakes. :)

Changbin had never seen anything more beautiful than Felix’s face in the morning. His hair was tousled from moving around too much and soft rays of sunlight streamed in from his bedroom window, gently illuminating his freckles.

In some ways, he found it weird. Felix was never this quiet—even during tests he was still talking—and rarely broke out of his hyperactive persona, but there he was, laying down on Changbin’s bed, his soft snores panning out into hushed breathes as he snuggled up further into his pillow. It was way too domestic for someone who he had met a few days ago, but Changbin couldn’t stop himself from staring at the blondie sleeping next to him.

It just felt right.

Changbin’s phone buzzed loudly, forcing him to tear his eyes away from the peaceful scene beside him. He carefully reached over the blondie to retrieve his phone, sighing when he saw who the message was from.

**Hyunjin**

_hows felix? ;)_

Not wanting to deal with Hyunjin and his antics, he switched off his notifications before leaning over to put his phone back, only to be stopped by a pair of glistening, chestnut coloured eyes.

“Was it Hyunjin?” Felix whispered, as if not wanting to break the silence surrounding them.

Changbin squinted his eyes, suspicious at the fact that he was able to guess so quickly. He rolled around so that his whole body faced the younger boy, observing the way he blinked away the sleep from his eyes.

“Yes.”

Felix sits up and pats down his bedhead in a vain attempt to fix it.

“I don’t want to go to school today…” He grumbled, his mouth jutted out in a pretty pink pout and Changbin swore that if they didn’t have school and exams to study for, he would let Felix do whatever he wanted to do. He would let him do whatever either way.

“Nope,” he replied putting emphasis on the p, “You’re going to school.”

There’s a brief pause and the elder is seriously considering giving in to his friend’s desires until he hears something resembling Chan’s voice scolding him, as well as Hyunjin and Jisung taunting him.

“Changbinie.” Felix whined, his voice laced with drowsiness. It’s even deeper than his normal voice, a feat that Changbin thought was impossible. Changbin gulped and sank down into the bed, his eyes fluttering closed as he tries to calm himself down because, _holy shit, Felix did not just call him by his cute nickname._

They stay sitting in bed for a while, preferring each other’s presence over their words until the younger boy grumbles out a resound, “I’m hungry.”

“What do you want to eat?”

Silence.

“Cereal?”

The blondie shook his head no.

“Toast?”

Another no.

Changbin racked his brains. There wasn’t a lot of time left until school started, and at the rate things were going, the pair were going to be late. He huffed in exasperation, as he tries to recall the food in his cupboard. Being a final year college student meant that there wasn’t a lot of time to go out shopping, so unless he magically gained strength to make a meal or Chan cooked him something nice, he was stuck with prepared meals.

“What do you want?”

The boy cocooned himself in the quilt before slowly standing up, yawning as he groggily rubs his eyes.

 “I want ice cream.”

\--

“Are you serious?”

Felix looked up from the menu, his tongue tentatively darting out to taste his ice cream as he waited for Changbin to continue.

“Bubble-gum?”

Felix dropped the menu, puzzled as to why his friend had suddenly lost the ability to speak in full sentences.

“With all the flavours in the world you chose bubble-gum? Felix, you could literally buy a pack of gum from next door for like, 2000 won.”

The blonde haired boy narrowed his eyes at Changbin.

“Why buy lemon huh? With all the flavours on this goddamn earth, why buy lemon when you can literally eat your sour attitude?”

They both glared at each other. Changbin didn’t know if he was offended or proud of him for coming up with a comeback so he sat there, opening and closing his mouth, confused about how he should react. He opted to smile bitterly at the boy, busying himself with finishing off his yellow coloured, frozen treat.

“And besides,” he murmured, “I’ve never been to an ice cream parlour.”

There’s another long pause before Changbin incredulously says, “All these places and you haven’t been to an ice cream parlour?”

“I guess I didn’t have time.”

“Where else haven’t you been?”

Felix’s bright smile faltered and the brunette is about to change the subject when he suddenly bursts out with, “I haven’t been ice skating or to a theme park or funfair and I haven’t watched any Disney films.”

“What?” he shouts, “Have you even—”

Changbin clamped his hands over his mouth before he can do any more damage. His heart aches when he sees Felix’s bowed head, his hair covering his crestfallen expression.

“Lived?”

“Felix, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that—”

“No, it’s okay. You’re right anyways I haven’t lived.”

He still hasn’t lifted his head and guilt was gnawing away at Changbin’s mind. They could only afford to spend about 15 minutes at the café before they had to go but now he was planning to leave earlier.

“You could take me places if you wanted to. You know so I could…” He lifts his head up, his eyes slowly making their way to the elder’s face.

“Live.”

Changbin nods his head in agreement; the look that Felix gives him is too intense to ignore, almost like a plea for help. A nauseating feeling settles in the bottom of his stomach as he realizes the same fear that stops him from taking dance is the same fear that stops him from going to all these places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Thank you for dealing with my trashy writing and horrible grammar through to the end of this chapter. I'll probably post the next chapter in a few days, considering I've almost finished it. As always please leave comments and feedback and hit me up on twitter/tumblr @felixislit because I need to scream about how changlix literally just cuddled for the whole vlive.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His friend wriggles his eyebrows suggestively and Changbin glares at him, a barely noticable smile tugging at his lips. He hates that he allows himself to get teased so easily, but he can't stop himself from letting out a small snicker, his whole body curling up into a ball as he tries to cover it up. He rubs his temples in circular motions under the pretence of being annoyed, but Hyunjin sees right through it, pushing Changbin so he can slide into the seat next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop! This is trashy and long overdue and the grammar is all over the place but nonetheless... here it is!

“You never responded to my message.”

  
Changbin turns up the volume on his phone, his eyes rolling back as he tries to drown out Hyunjin’s voice with music.

  
“Keep rolling your eyes—”

  
“And you’ll find a brain back in there, yes yes I know. Hyunjin you’re too predictable.”

  
Hyunjin smiles genuinely, his whole face lighting up as he yanks out his friend’s earphones.

  
“But seriously—how’s Felix?”

  
“Don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?”

  
“That’s no fun, I want to know from the guy who spent most of last night with him.”

  
His friend wriggles his eyebrows suggestively and Changbin glares at him, a barely noticable smile tugging at his lips. He hates that he allows himself to get teased so easily, but he can't stop himself from letting out a small snicker, his whole body curling up into a ball as he tries to cover it up. He rubs his temples in circular motions under the pretence of being annoyed, but Hyunjin sees right through it, pushing Changbin so he can slide into the seat next to him.

  
“Felix massages people you know. He’s actually pretty good at it.”

  
“I don’t see what that has to do with me,” Changbin says, taking his workbook out of his black backpack.

  
“You seem to be under a lot of stress. You know, with rubbing your temples and that.”

  
The door swings open, and on cue, in walks Felix, rubbing his hands together as he tightens his pale blue scarf. His cheeks are red from the cold, and his hair is slightly messed up from the wind, but he still manages to radiate a warm aura as he sits down next to Changbin.

  
“Hi.”

  
It's awfully staccato and straightforward, but nevertheless, his greeting, like a thief in the night time, steals his breath, leaving him puzzled over how to respond.

  
Hyunjin perches his head into his hand, a low chuckle coming from his mouth.

  
“What’s funny?” Changbin growls, forcing his head further into the book in a vain effort to hide from Hyunjin's piercing glances.

  
He doesn’t answer.

  
The three of them sit there in comfortable silence, passing around notebooks and preparing for their upcoming English test. Felix hums and Changbin looks in his direction, taking in the way his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as he gnaws at his fingernails. He clears his throat shyly, his head burying deeper into his scarf as he turns to face Changbin.

  
“Umm,” his eyes are still looking at his papers, a light pink dusting his face.

  
Changbin looks at him, confused. _Have I upset him? Is something wrong?_ He twirls the pen in his hand, trying to ignore the sinking feeling he gets in his stomach.

  
“CanIhaveyournumberplease.” He blurts out and Changbin sits there for a few minutes, mind blank until he starts choking on his saliva when he realises what the blondie said. Hyunjin bursts into laughter, his head falling back, clapping his hands like a seal.

  
“I..uh…” his eyes wander around the room. Everyone is looking at them and Changbin isn’t shy—not in the slightest-- but he doesn’t exactly know what to do. He doesn’t know his phone number of by heart and it’s lowkey embarrassing—

  
“It’s not embarrassing!” Felix says, his eyes looking straight into Changbin’s and oh shit—did he say it out loud?

  
A few other students beside him erupt into a fit of giggles, stopping immediately when Changbin glares at him, his hands balled into fits as he shakes his head, trying to get rid of the blush that crawls onto his cheeks.

  
“His number is 1-800-not-today-satan.” [a/n: someone send help I don't know how phone numbers work TT]

  
Changbin looks up to find Jisung leaning over him, sporting a trademark grin. He waves at the older boy and shrugs of his bag, tripping over his feet as he sits next to Hyunjin. They high five each other, winking at the shortie.

  
“What?” His smile grows even wider as he watches the teacher walk into the classroom, scrutinizing the students before erasing the whiteboard.

  
“Can't I help a hyung out?”

 

 

***

 

 

“I don’t get it.”

  
“What’s there not to get?”

  
Changbin chews at his tongue. In theory, studying with Minho was a great idea-- he was an amazing teacher and always got good marks across all of his subjects—and so, he had called up his older friend and arranged a studying session with him. But of course, Jisung had invited himself which brought them to their current problem of abstaining from clawing each other’s eyes out over a particularly difficult maths question that none of them understood, no matter how many times Jisung claimed he did.

  
Minho exhales shakily through his nose. His hands adjust his Harry Potter style glasses, wiping away the sweat that had trickled onto the lenses.

  
“Let's take a break guys. Maybe if we come back to it with a different mindset it’ll make more sense?”

  
Changbin nods his head enthusiastically, his hand raking through the brown locks of his hair. It was an hour after school had finished and the trio were still in the library, revising any old maths content that they didn't understand. His brain is fried and overworked and honestly, all he wants to do is sleep.

  
“So...I heard you went out with Felix this morning.”

  
He tries blocking out the sound next to him, but he hears the gentle scrape of Jisung pulling his chair closer to him, so he sits up straight, half listening to his friend's questions.

  
“Yeah, I did.”

  
“What did you do?”

  
“Breakfast.”

  
“So he came to your house in the morning?”

  
Minho snorts, fixing the beanie on his head and pulling in down so it covers his ears.

  
“Nope.” Minho says, beaming from ear to ear, his hands tapping away at the keys on his laptop. He doesn't understand how Minho, of all people found out, but then he remembers that the three dancers are all friends.

  
Jisung whistles quietly, which is better than what Hyunjin did, but still not that great of a reaction. He takes out a scrunched up piece of paper from his jacket pocket and hands it to Changbin.

  
“English homework. You left it.”

  
“Maybe I didn't want to take it?”

  
The squirrel like boy stares incredulously at his friend, his eyes squinting as he shakes his head in disbelief.

  
“You sleep with a plushie. I don't think you actually like getting detention.”

  
He slumps down further into his seat, pulling up another chair so he can rest his legs on it. A yawn escapes his mouth as his eyes flutter closed.

  
THUD.

  
Changbin flicks one eye open. The sound is coming from the other side of the library, towards the back. He's surprised anyone still uses the area; it's the furthest place from the exit so it's inconvenient for anyone carrying books, and it's the only part that hasn't got a fire exit.

  
Jisung and him exchange a look, and almost immediately, they stand up, tiptoeing across the building with mountains of books in their arms.

  
They spot a familiar mop of blonde hair, peeking out from among the bookcases. Minho is about to help Felix pick up all the papers he's dropped, when Changbin stretches his hand across his torso to stop him. _Chan’s there as well,_ Changbin thinks, _so it must be serious._ The three of them huddle together behind a large block of wood, silently eavesdropping on the Australians’ conversation.

  
In the back of Changbin's mind, he feels disgusted. It doesn't feel right spying on each other, but the same burning curiosity which makes his fingertips tingle with eagerness is surging through his veins, and so he cannot find his moral compass to turn around and leave the two of them to chat.

  
“Ah. They’re speaking in English.”

  
“Then there’s no point eavesdropping."

  
They turn to leave, even though Changbin knows that Jisung understands English, and is just leaving because he feels bad. He wants to leave as well, but his feet stick to the ground when he hears a hushed Australian accent ring in his ears.

  
“How’s it going?”

Chan’s voice is soothing and comforting. He opens his book and flicks through the pages nonchalantly.

  
“It’s okay.”

Felix is quieter than usual, his voice barely audible under the quiet hum of the photocopier.

  
“Is it better?”

  
“It’s okay.”

  
Chan tugs at his grey hair in frustration. Then suddenly, his eyes soften as he places his hand on the younger’s, slowly as if not wanting to upset him.

  
“Felix, are you sure? If you want you can—”

  
“It’s fine Chan. Drop it.”

  
There’s an abrupt pause. Felix yanks away his hand from underneath Chan's like it's venomous. Changbin takes it as a final warming and he turns his feet away, walking to catch up to his friends when a faint sob echoes throughout the almost desolate room.

  
“Nothing’s going to change anyways.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously need to find a schedule TT. Feedback and comments are greatly appreciated and I'm suprised anyone is actually reading this 0.O

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you~ I'm really awkward so I don't know what else to say. :P


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